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DA GIRL ♥

Purrie ♥
sweetEIGHTEEN
Scorpio
o8nov1989
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Single/attached



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18 October 2005 ♥

in e past.. i use to think im branded.. im proud to everything around mi.. showing attitude to every single individual.. even when it comes to choosing my frenz.. i choose those whom in my criteria is fit to be my frenz.. i think tat im welcome by all frenz.. just because im presented by a smile when i saw them.. aint i stupid? i nv noe e meaning of nv judge a book by its cover..

nw do i noe.. in e gals world,its not lidat.. for gals.. they just dislike gals without any reasons.. just because in their opinion..they r xia lan.. oki la.. wadever la.. im also a gal.. im in no opinion to say these things.. yuki said im harsh.. to ppl.. its lyk.. i dun gif dem any yu di when they offended mi..come to think of this.. oki.. im reminded of this incident.. there was once when mi n crystal quarrelled with a gal.. n im e one scolding her.. so i scold her lor.. scold scold scold.. den e gal storm off in e end.. n crystal told mi smth tat strikes mi noe.. she said *moon,u really went overboard* n den i kept quiet..of cuz i noe tat i went overboard.. but i just cnt control.. whenever im offended.. i just say wadever things tat comes to my mind tat i noe will hurt tat person right...

alot of ppl told mi..tat i am cold blooded.. i dun spare a tot for others.. i noe i am lidat..but.. aiya.. theres smth.. WJ told mi.. tat make mi so touched.. once.. we were out as usual.. n he can see tat i am down.. den suddenly.. he hold mi n told mi *moon,in front of ur parents,u gotta act as if u r a obedient gal,nodding to everything they say,in front of ur frenz,u gotta act as if u hack care everything when u cnt at all,in front of ur bf n e guy u like,u gotta gif ur most precious attutide to them,bt in front of mi,u just gotta be urself..* for e lst time in my life.. i tot to myself.. how come all this while he is only a fren in my eyes.. 11 yrs.. lst time i wondered.. but.. but.. i noe its too late ler.. so i pull myself away frm his gaze.. n refrain myself frm thinking any further...i noe tat.. Wj is still e one tat is sweetest to mi..

in front of all my frenz.. i act as if i can hack care everything.. i dun gif a damn to everything.. but i have feelings de noe.. just tat i dun wanna show it out.. cuz i dun wanna get hurt.. my principle in life.. *sometimes when u care for a person too much,all u get is disappointment,i rather b happy with wad i have now* selfish uh? but.. i have been betrayed by too many times ler.. trusted them so much.. love them so much.. in e end.. wad did i get.. all lies.. sometimes.. i do regret.. im wondering.. m i the one who ruin this friendship..afterall.. u r my bestest fren in mjr.. despite all e hatred i have for u.. in my hrt.. u still my fren..

ppl say.. they dunno wad am i thinking.. im a vicious gal.. ok.. i admit.. but.. all thanks to e surroundings.. the ppl i met.. the pain they inflicted on mi.. i dun wanna get all e love i deserve..if a person can make mi care for him.. it means tat he can hurt mi.. everythings he does.. my emotion is totally controlled by him.. i dun wan it this way.. i only trusted money.. with money.. i can lead e kind of life i wan.. be e kind of person i wan..

oki.. all my frenz.. including WJ.. told mi tat hes not worth it..whenever hes down.. he look for mi.. im always there.. always there for mi.. or maybe i think too highly of myself.. he dun even nid mi all this while.. im only a tool for him to vent his frustrations when hes down.. however.. when i nid him.. his fone is always quiet.. always quiet.. when i needed him.. i dunno where e hell he is.. he is e one who make mi trust no one.. no one at all.. i only trust myself.. cuz.. im e only one tat wun hurt myself...

when hes down.. he run to mi.. he noes how much he meant to mi.. but he can just hack care.. ignoring my feelings.. u noe when does he look for mi.. when he wanna smoke.. mayb im his smoking buddy.. oh no no.. its cigar supplier..boy ah.. all these yrs i noe u.. u r always searchin.. searchin for e things u wan.. u nv noe how to turn back n look.. if u nv turn back n look.. u will nv noe who r e ones u hurt.. who r e ones u lose.. u can just ignore mi when u decide tat its her.. ignoring mi when u have smth in mind.. im only remembered when u r down.. but mi? have u ever ponder over how i treated u? all the while when u have other gals in ur arms.. i nv bothered u.. i noe u r happy.. but when u r down.. u came to mi.. im always there.. i nv ignore u despite all e things u do to mi.. despite all e pain u inflicted on mi.. u noe smth? u r worst den a fren.. im really disappointed u noe..

however.. i cnt bring myself to ignore u.. time n agn.. i told myself not to ans ur call.. but agn n agn.. i do so.. u noe why? i dun wan u to be alone when u needed someone.. i noe e feeling.. well.. u taught mi smth though.. i learn smth.. in this world.. i cnt trust anyone.. i dun wan any fucking love n care anymore.. i just wan myself.. i wun gif a fucking damn to wad ppl says abt mi.. im a bitch.. im vicious.. i wun try to change ppl opinion of mi.. i admit i am lidat.. i noe i cnt take back my care i have for u immediately.. but i will.. i will ok..

i wun ever trust u agn.. u can ignore my feelings for all u care.. i am not gonna sacrifice anymore.. i wan u to get out of my life.. my memories.. i noe tat with ur memories.. i will only suffer.. i wun let a guy tat wun shed a tear for mi to hurt mi.. i noe.. for myself to get protected.. i cnt trust anyone too easily..


you are the only reason for my precious smile ♥